Hello, this is Satoru Yamagishi.
It is easy to see that a general interest in dating a foreigner is at a real peak among people in Japan. If you are interested in pursuing a relationship with a Japanese person, then you are in for a unique adventure. There are a lot of fun cultural experiences to have. But, there are also a lot of cultural differences that you will have to learn to wade through. The latter is especially true if you are thinking about finding a Japanese girlfriend.
Today we are going to be talking about 5 different culture shocks that you should anticipate if you have a Japanese girlfriend. Please remember that while some of these things are prominent among people in Japan, others may vary on a person by person basis. For example, a Japanese woman who is familiar with Western dating habits might not surprise you as much as one who isn’t.
1.Punctuality is Key
If you have already been to Japan, or if you are currently living in Japan, then you will already know that punctuality is important. A train leaving a station early can result in a public apology. If you tell your Japanese girlfriend that you will be somewhere at a certain time, then you should be there. This is especially true if you are going on a date.
You should be aware of the fact that things are a little bit different in Okinawa. The relaxed state there has led to many people developing a relaxed mentality that revolves around “Okinawa time”. Okinawa time is quite similar to the way that Western people view time, where being five minutes late for something wouldn’t be an issue.
If you know that you are going to be late for a date with your Japanese girlfriend, then you should aim to let her know quickly. A simple message on LINE would do the trick. If she is making an effort to be punctual, then she might see you as a rude person if you are not doing the same.
Tip: To avoid any punctuality-related issues, you should aim to arrive for dates early.
2.Initial Differences
Dating in Japan is completely different to dating in Western countries and it can take a little bit of getting used to. If you are currently trying to get a Japanese girlfriend, then you should be aware of the fact that you are on a confusing and challenging road.
Asking a Western woman out on a date can be quite embarrassing. Most Western women will immediately tell you if they are not interested, but Japanese women are quite the opposite. They prefer to save face and let you know that they are not interested when they are ready to. This can make it difficult to tell where you really stand with Japanese women.
One thing that you do need to remember is that most people will already see you as a foreigner. When you do find a Japanese girlfriend, you should spend a little bit of time getting rid of any stereotypes that she may already have about you. Overcoming some of them could be quite difficult.
Tip: Try dating in the same way that Japanese people do. Go out in groups and get to know people while you are out with your group. You should be able to tell whether or not someone in the group is interested in you.
3.Public Displays of Affection and Physical Intimacy
If you are from an English speaking country, then you will probably be more than familiar with public displays of affection. The thought of two people kissing in public probably sounds quite normal to you. But, things are different in Japan.
Japan is a relatively conservative country, regardless of some of the fetishes that you might have heard about. Kissing in public is generally frowned upon, as are other public displays of affection.
That conservative nature can also be seen in private relationships. Your Japanese girlfriend might not want things to immediately become physical. When you initially start going out on dates, you should try to be as conservative as possible. A lot of Japanese women won’t even hold your hand until you have been on several dates, meaning that you will have to be patient.
Remember that this is not a rule and there will be some Japanese people who are happy to be physically intimate straight away. But, those exceptions might not be what you think they are or what you want them to be. A lot of Japanese people find that when people are immediately physically intimate, it means that they are just looking for fun.
Tip: Try to be conservative at first and let your Japanese girlfriend go at her own pace.
4.Relationship Roles
When you are in a relationship with a Japanese woman, you will quickly realize that relationship roles are alive and thriving in Japan. The roles that are expected of both men and women are clearly laid out. There are some exceptions to these roles, but they are few and far between.
If your Japanese girlfriend is really serious about your relationship, then she will probably want to know about your financial security. This is because she will be thinking about the future. How can she plan to start a family with you without knowing whether or not you can provide for them?
Before you truly invest yourself in a relationship with a Japanese woman, you need to understand that you will probably be the breadwinner. Japanese people are known to work incredibly hard and you have to accept that that is the way that society functions in Japan. Hard work is valued.
A lot of Japanese men pay for their first dates because it shows their prospective partner that they are financially secure. You should follow in their footsteps if you are invested in your life in Japan.
Tip: Try to accept some of the gender roles that will be thrown at you. As a man, you will be expected to be calm and collected most of the time, especially while waiting for your Japanese girlfriend to express her feelings.
5.Expressing Emotions
In our opinion, the biggest culture shock that you will experience as a foreigner is one that comes with expressing your emotions. It can be really difficult to express your emotions when you are talking to your partner. But, what would you do if you couldn’t talk?
Talking probably isn’t the right route to take with a Japanese girlfriend. Japanese people are known to value non-verbal communication and subtle signs that show them that you are interested in them, opposed to giant verbal gestures.
Try to remember that direct verbal expressions and physical contact are things that come with Western styles of dating. Your girlfriend would probably appreciate you trying to do things the Japanese way.
Tip: These small gestures might not be noticeable to you at first. You should make sure that you are paying a lot of attention to your girlfriend so that you don’t miss them.
Conclusion
As you can see, having a Japanese girlfriend also means learning about a lot of new things. Having said that, you shouldn’t use an umbrella term to try to understand the actions, thoughts and feelings of your significant other. A lot of people have unique quirks as to how they behave, meaning that your partner might just have a personality quirk that you are not familiar with.
Thank you for reading!
If you are interested in, please click below.
