This article was written by one of our most dedicated gentleman members and would like to honour his thoughts by posting it here.
It’s quite interesting to read how this gentleman thought about a simple but significant act in any love relationship, kissing. Whether it be a sugar dating relationship or a marriage, a kiss can go a long way. Let’s find out what his thoughts were about kissing.
Hmmm – kissing. Is it worth the risk? Doesn’t it expose me to disease?
Well maybe, if you’re not careful to brush thoroughly before really getting into it. If you’re concerned, pop into a “kombini” and pick up some mouthwash. Use it, and enjoy safe kissing! Kissing is truly magical… if you do it right.
Magical? Really? Yep. Magical! No matter how old you are, kissing can transcend time and take you back to your First Happiness.
You probably don’t remember your first happiness, consciously. It was very soon after you were born. You were cold and hungry. Your mother picked you up, held you close and gave you her love and warm milk. Buried deep in the deepest vault of your brain is the hidden treasure of that first happiness. It was experienced through your baby lips and tongue, through your skin, through your nose. As you grew, the memory was buried beneath a flood of new experiences. But it’s still there, waiting to be awakened by a kiss!
Researchers have discovered that a tender kiss can awaken a flood of happiness, releasing hormones like serotonin and endorphins that help your body relax and give a happy glow to your world. But to bring joy, the kiss needs to be done right. It needs to awaken the deep memories from your earliest days.
Here’s how…let’s dive into it!
There are many kinds of kissing. Some are merely social. I’ll skip over them and talk about romantic kissing. In a romantic encounter, there are actually three degrees of kissing.
The Hello Kiss
Let’s say you’ve met your date, you’ve had dinner, and you’ve agreed that something more intimate could be fun. When you find yourself in a private space – may be an elevator or, if you’re feeling bold, the back seat of a taxi – you glance over at your partner and notice a certain look. It’s time for a “Hello Kiss”!
It’s a get-acquainted kiss, so it starts out very modest and gentle. The woman initiates the kiss by looking at her partner and tilting her head slightly up (unless she’s tall) and to the left. (It doesn’t have to be to the left, but for some reason, I think it usually is!) The man brings his head slowly toward her, reading the look in her eyes and tilting his head a little to the left also, so as not to bump noses. If her eyes are closed, that’s a great go-ahead sign; so are partly closed eyes, smiling eyes, or eyes with wide pupils. A tense or worried look, or narrow pupils, means “Please go slow!”
If she looks good to go, he places one hand gently on her shoulder. Tense your lips slightly to make a soft cushion, and hold them loosely together as they meet. Put your hand gently on your partner’s shoulder. Use gentle lip-pressure to caress your partner’s lips. At this stage, it’s best not to open your lips more than 5 mm. Be very alert to your partner’s body movements. If she moves closer to him, all is well. You may tentatively move your tongue no more than about 5 mm between her lips. I’ve known women who were indifferent become very positive about a man who uses this genteel introductory kiss. Men, do not thrust your tongue into her mouth! If she wants deep kissing at this stage, she will initiate it. Let this kiss last about 10 seconds. Drawback and look at your partner’s face. You can tell a lot about the rest of the evening after your “Hello Kiss”, by the look on her face. But now it’s time to make sure your mouths are clean and sweet-tasting by brushing thoroughly and, if you like, using mouthwash.
Baby’s Kiss
The second kiss is what I call “Baby’s Kiss” because it brings back those deep, magical memories of a baby’s first happiness. Either the man or the woman may initiate this once the “Hello Kiss” has told both of you that romance is in the air.
Since our first happiness came when we nurtured, the Baby’s Kiss is mostly about gentle sucking. Again, your heads will be tilted and your lips slightly tense. Open your lips no more than the width of your little finger, about 5-10 mm. Gently suck, making sure your lips are firm enough to seal with your partner’s. At the same time, use your tongue to lick your partner’s mouth – lips, teeth, and especially the tongue. As you suck, play with your partner’s tongue, but don’t thrust into your partner’s mouth.
Have you ever enjoyed tasting fine wine? Did you take a big mouthful and gulp it down? I hope not! You probably let it roll about your mouth, appreciating its flavour, its texture, its aroma. This is how to enjoy Baby’s Kissing. It will awaken floods of nameless joys. You will be both excited and comforted by this kiss.
And don’t forget your hands! Whether you’re standing, sitting, or reclining, your hands should be caressing your partner like a mother comforting her baby. Men, your gentleness with this kiss allows your partner’s confidence in you to grow, signalling that she can trust you and be open to you as the evening progresses. Stroke your partner’s back, hair, and arms. Many men don’t realize how much a woman appreciates having her hair lovingly caressed. It’s not yet time for the chest or butt. There’s so much more to enjoy first. On the other hand, if she initiates more aggressive kissing and fondling, don’t disappoint her: move on to the Lover’s Kiss
Lover’s Kiss
This is the kiss of passion. This is the kiss most men – and some women – want to enjoy as soon as possible. Men, don’t rush it. If you do the Baby’s Kiss right, researchers (and I mean serious medical researchers!) have found that women’s arousal hormones are released powerfully by this sort of kissing. So if he does it right, she will invite him into her by opening her mouth wider, sucking his tongue as deep as possible into her mouth, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. This is the Lover’s Kiss.
You may both get carried away as hormones shut down the reasoning part of your brain so that the primitive urges can take over. During the Lover’s Kiss, your hands are free to roam everywhere. But don’t let your higher brain be totally shut down! Men, remember that women are easily hurt. Don’t press your mouth against hers so hard that you bruise her. Don’t let your hands do anything that will cause her harm or regret having partnered with you. Don’t let this kiss become an act of aggression. Let it be a Lover’s Kiss, a magical kiss, a kiss both of you are sure to remember happily in the morning, and for years to come.
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