Hello, this is Satoru Yamagishi . How’s going?
The Orient has always been a subject of great interest for the Westerners. Not only its unique culture and history, but also the exotic beauties of the Oriental countries have charmed the hearts of Western men and women for a long time. While only a few decades ago international marriages were not a common thing in Japan, now you can spot many such couples just by walking down the streets.

While the experience of dating a Japanese person might seem like an exotic paradise (and in a way it is), you should keep in mind that every country has its specific dating culture and rules. Thus, if you are planning on dating Japanese men you should keep the following things in mind.

Japanese men are shy

The sub-heading talks for itself. Japanese men are extremely shy. They often cannot master their courage to ask you out, even if they are head over heels for you. It might be the fear of rejection, or it might simply be their lack of experience. But either way, if you like the guy and want to start dating them, you might have to make the first call. Plus, Japanese men seem to be intimidated by Western women, due to having larger proportions than the average petite Japanese lady, non-standard hair and eye colors, as well as unusual makeup choices. Even if they are very much into you, they might think that you are not interested and will simply back away without even trying.

It should be noted that in Japan, it is very common for the woman to ask out the man for a date, so don’t worry, they will definitely not be weirded out by your bold move.

Another thing to keep in mind when dating Japanese men is that public showcase of affection is going to be limited to hand holding, and that too only after the two of you are officially a ‘thing’. Kissing and hugging, cuddling up to each other in public is highly frowned at in Japan, so if you are dating a Japanese guy, you should respect his boundaries and culture.

Work above everything else

Japan is a very, I can’t stress this enough, VERY work-oriented culture filled with countless hours of overtime. While in a Western country it might seem like a given that one would prioritize their personal relationships over work, that is not the case in Japan. If you start dating Japanese men and want to preserve a proper relationship, keep in mind that they are going to spend a lot of time at work, probably much more than they will spend with you. Their lives are going to be centered mostly around their work and office.

Another thing to consider is that in most of Japanese companies people rarely make use of their yearly vacations. So you should probably give up on the idea of a two week getaway in a far away country with just the two of you.

That being said, Japanese salaryman go on business trips quite often. They might also be sent to work in another branch of the same company halfway across the country. Many Japanese couples live like this for years, separated from each other, and meeting only once every couple of months for several days. So it might be a good idea to keep this in mind.

Cultural differences while dating Japanese men

Cultural differences are going to be present in any international couples’ relationship and day to day life. But they might be more persistent when West and East clash. However, as long as both of you recognize each other’s boundaries and respect the culture of your partner everything should be fine.

One of the biggest cultural barriers when dating a Japanese man might be having to deal with them drinking a lot, more like all the time. Most of the time they will come home from work drunk after an outing with their colleagues, simply a very common thing in Japan. More often than not they will be forced to drink by their seniors (no, this isn’t bullying, it’s how Japanese culture works). So you need to be able to handle the fact that your significant other oftentimes will come home intoxicated.

Perks of dating Japanese men

・Japanese men are some of the nicest men you might meet. This might also be caused by the above mentioned shyness. They will usually go out of their way to make you feel comfortable, will shower you with gifts and try to do everything to show how much they like/love you. Of course, this statement is not universal, but stands true for majority of the men who are dating you with serious purposes in their mind.

• Even though I personally don’t like this trait, it should be mentioned that many Japanese men will avoid telling their problems to their partner just to keep the other one from worrying. In a sense this is them caring for you.
• While it might seem that Japanese people want to date foreigners for the opportunity of learning English (and this is true more often than not), there are many nice guys who want to date you just because you are you, and who don’t see you as a walking and talking dictionary of English. Regardless, by dating Japanese men you can exchange language lessons with each other and both become more fluent in the other’s language.

Conclusion

While dating Japanese men is not an easy feat and will demand patience on both of your sides, it is also a rewarding experience. The main obstacles in dating Japanese men are the cultural and language barriers. While to many Westerners it might seem that dating Japanese men is an exceptional and unique experience (and in a way it is), after the initial stage of infatuation, dating Japanese men is not very different from dating any other guy from any other corner of the world. It all comes down to your mutual feelings and how much you are willing to sacrifice for the sake of your relationship.

And last but not least, Japanese men are keepers, so if you end up dating one, make sure to treasure them!